Only Child Syndrome

Eden Bike

{My diva-licious daughter on Christmas with her new bike. She is a hoot.}

I have a confession to make.

I don’t want to have any more children.

(Please, don’t shoot me – especially all my wonderful friends who are mom’s to multiple kids or my lovely friends who are desperately trying to have children!)

And when I tell people this, I get the whole awkward moment conversation and the, “Oh……”  Or I get the, “Well, aren’t you thinking of your daughter? She NEEDS a sibling.” And it makes me frustrated. Since when does ANYONE else know what is best for my daughter? Or my family for that matter?

Why would I want to birth/add more children to my family just to have others/society/my own family approve of me? How does that benefit me, my child or my family in general??

I decided to write this because I feel it is important to share something with you all. God has used this frustration of the “only child issue” to reveal  revelations to me as I struggled with my own convictions/desires on the issue vs. what others wanted me to do.

Here is what I feel He is teaching me:

Motherhood is a calling and deciding to become a mother is a HUGE choice. It isn’t a passing fancy, something that we do for fun or to feel like we belong with the other friends in our age group/community. We choose this because we feel it is something God has called us to do. Whether someone chooses to have one child, multiple children or to adopt children, it should be a decision made prayerfully in coordination with God’s plan for her and her family’s life.

Not only that, but what I do as a mother is unto the Lord, and not other people.

God is slowly teaching me that I am to be hidden in HIS will for my life. He is showing me that He will reveal to me through His spirit if any of my desires or convictions are not right or not a part of His plan for me. I choose to live my life to glorify Him alone.

God has also used this issue to bring to light my intense desire to people-please. I have always wanted approval from others, even from a young age. For whatever reason, my self-worth seemed to be tied to achieving a good reputation amongst my family, friends and (now) co-workers. While these desires are not wrong in their entirety, putting too much emphasis on your reputation or how people perceive you can lead to anxiety/worry and to NOT focusing on the Lord.

I had no idea when I became a mother, that this issue would thrust me into a spot-light where people will comment on my parenting skills, my daughters behavior and personality, and my family’s decisions on whether to expand and have more children (or not). But today I choose to not get frustrated, people-please or become bitter; instead, I choose joy and will turn to Christ and His word to find my peace and self-worth.

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{I love my silly family. We are a perfect fit. Thank you LORD for my family!}

Are you struggling in an area of your life where you turn to people pleasing?

Do you feel like you need to make people in your family, peer group or workplace happy all of the time?

God did not intend for you to give your life over to others. He wants you to rest IN HIM and what HE HAS for your life. Get into His word. Pray. Seek Godly counsel. Ask God for help and seek Him in all areas of your life. He will reveal to you what decisions you should make in whatever area you are struggling in today.

Blessings, friends!

Some verses for encouragement….. 🙂

Galatians 1:10:

“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”

Colossians 3:23:

“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

Colossians 3:17:

“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”

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